Trouble Makers?

This Sunday’s reading from John 4 is a well-known conversation between Jesus and “the woman at the well.” John makes it clear in the passage that, “Jews do not associate with Samaritans” (v. 9), there could have been a stern tone (from at least one side of the conversation) as it began.  A woman alone in such a situation would likely be wary of a stranger’s intentions. Understandably, she throws a flurry of distance-affirming barbs at Jesus by stating that she has the control of the conversation if he wants water and that she and her people are in control of the holy place of Jacob’s well and live on the holy mountain.

Though Jesus diffuses the potential conflict between the two very easily, most of  us could still grow in our ability to manage potential conflict with others.

Conflict Primer

Deep inside each of us is the need to want to be right.  The Good News is that, as a Christian, our “righteousness” is not determined by winning an argument but by Jesus’ atoning life and death on a cross.

We need to realize that in our relationships with others, sometimes we will be right and sometimes we will be wrong. We do not have to allow our inner drive to want to be right to tower over others to gain our rightness and justification.  We can share opinions and offer suggestions to others for our mutual benefit without “having to be right.”

Offering criticism can be positive if done in the right way.  Though criticism connotes negativity to many, it can be helpful. A movie critic, for example, can provide “critical acclaim” to guide the masses in seeing something valuable. To keep criticism useful and to provide a foundation for growth, there are several keys to sharing it in the right manner.

One key in sharing criticism is to acknowledge that the opinions and perspectives that another holds are as valuable as our own.  A second key is keeping our motives straight—the point in sharing a different perspective is to potentially help another person to become a better or healthier believer and further their growth.  Third, remember that it takes time for another to hear a point of view that is different and remember to give them “space” and time to imagine to “try on” the new perspective you are suggesting.

If you think about it, our relationship with God is one of conflict—conflict atoned for in the life and person of Jesus. And it is the loving heart of God who invites us to come alongside the Spirit as co-creators and change agents for the good of the world.